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(COOLLIST) If We Still Had Arsenio
Arsenio Hall wraps up his opening monologue, naming a section of the
audience the disenfranchised waiters of America. Then, after a chorus
of "woo woo"ing and hand cranking, he motions the audience to silence.
With his hands clasped and his two forefingers extended and pressed
together, he turns serious and pensive. Arsenio then announces,
"Friends, tonight we have a very special guest. Fresh from his
sweeping victory in the Rebuplican primaries of New York, here tonight
with no saxaphone but with a few important words, I'm pleased to
announce, " speaking more forcefuly now, "that Bob Dole is in the
house!!!"
The crowd explodes. Party-like noise erupts from all around.
Apparently, the audience skewed to the right for some freakish reason.
Suddenly, a studio page rushes out onto the stage and hands Mr. Hall a
blue card. Arsenio reads it, then starts waving his hands to calm the
audience again.
"Hold on! Quiet! I'm sorry, Mr. Dole is actually in the Senate, not
in the House."
--
Benjamin L. Combee (combee@techwood.org) <URL:http://www.yak.net/combee/>
that public-access-TV-making, video-game-collecting, cryptography-pushing,
World-Wide-Web-explaining, fem-music-loving, bad-pun-creating guy in Austin
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